*******************AFFIDAVIT***************
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Before you read this know that some names have been changed to protect the innocent if the name has not been changed it means the person is aware and okay with me blogging about them and everything discussed they are aware of.
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LET'S GO!
Monday
I got a call from Tausha who was still a little salty with me from bombing her out from not including me when she went out or at least letting me know she was okay after she worried me all day with her problems shyt. Then we got into it again when she was like "BF You don't care about me you don't take me calls you be treating me bad". WOW! I went the hell off I flipped I told her I would hit her up later and hung what they call the hell up.
When I was on the way to the van I got a text from Lee "Good seeing you too". I was all smiles yeah true I was ALL SMILES and who cares who knows it I still have a thang for him and want him to be a part of my life even if just for conversation I enjoy his company dayum ........anyway I didn't respond back.
Fatt Baby sent me a text "Good Morning".
me "Good Morning 
"
him "I told you I was gonna call". Well I wanted to say this is not calling but instead I said "Yeah, a man of his word I like that".
Skip sent me a "Good Morning" text as well as Mark who asked me out this Thursday ...I plan to go out for a few drinks I mean it's been a minute and I am so bored plus I don't have any female friends to really kick it with on the week days like that so um yeah he cool why not ...............I just can't possably pine away for Lee I have to let things go as the universe has them planned and if he calls he calls if not that's cool too I can't offer him anything BUT my friendship at this time until I get my life together tie up all this marriage stuff and get on my own what can I really offer him uh? So in the in between time I'm gonna chill ...stop reading so much into everything and let be...be as Black told me "Stop with da games shorty....it's okay 2 let dude n 2 ur hart ...how else will u kno if it's real r not....take ur time let nature take it's course...what will b will b just stop wit da games & like when we make a run shorty just go wit ur gut I've known u over 10 yrs & ur gut b on point ...do what u feel but keep it 100 if not just 86 ur self"...............dayum Black ................
anyway yeah so if Mark hit me up then it's a date for Thursday.
Monday work was cool
BUT
The talk I had with Cheryl was better ............SMH!!!!! it was perfect she coaxed me into sending him (Lee) a text asking him out for a drink ........................so I did "If your not busy wanna go out for a drink tonight"? he didn't reply back and Cheryl was like "Toni, it's not your world he is not sitting around holding his phone in his hand waiting for a text from you he has a life ...true he doesn't have a job but he could be talking with some chick he is seeing now ....taking a shower....eating....charging his phone the world doesn't move because you want it too". DAYUM! she was so right .............so right ..........she said "Be patient he will get back to you just slow down ........your still breathing, flyy and doing you so your good". It always has always taking talking with her to bring me back to earth ...........we do that for each other believe me it be hurting when she go on me but the TRUTH hurts so I eat it up, Take it all in sometimes I listen and make changes in my life and sometimes I put it in a memory bank and make changes a little to late. (wink).................
I kept up with my work
Tony didn't go into work like he was supposed to he was out with Joan drinking what's new *rolling eyes*
I didn't work overtime I knew I had to get down to Morgan state so before I got off work I sent Lee a text "I guess that means no ....I get it". And that was that when I got off the train I had a text from him "My bad just got the message was out of service watching the football game at my brothers house".
me "That's cool". And that was that ..................I really didn't have any hard feelings but I was thinking maybe Cheryl is right he has someone else he is seeing now and my heart felt a tad bit crushed but I wanted to feel like fugg that other woman I know I am so much better but shyt she would be better then me hands down just off the fact that she is NOT married (SMH) So I brushed the idea of him having someone under my feet and kept my head up if he does what can I do???
Tony was home when I got there getting the house together for Don dada her and her wedding coordinator were coming over to get the music together. I chilled with her for a little bit and then rolled out to hit the grocery store for James and head to Morgan.
Shay was over Marchae's house and said she wasn't riding with me.
Necole was over Gerald's house it was his mother's Pam Birthday and she had got her a card ...............so it was just me and Mo.
Tony gave me $100 I made it work
I found everything just fine and was happy I made the trip on my own. James has lost weight he said "Mommy I'm hungry there is nothing to eat". I was wondering what he had in his refridge and when I opened it all I saw was a bowl of pineapples and some Mumbo sauce from when we brought that chicken up there (SMH) there was no bottle water in the room and the cabinets were bare geez mo Christmas. I didn't stay long since it was just me and Mo and it was already 9pm. James beard is really coming in now and he looks so handsome I'm sure he has somebody all over him (wink)
The whole ride back I was wishing I had Lee to talk with on the phone to keep me company. Tiffany called to remind me to bring the 7th Harry Potter book to work.
Tony checked on me a few times and then when I called to tell him I was on my way back I was told by Necole he had left out with Joan *rolling eyes*.
I called his cell, hers and Monique's no answer Joan was to have taking him to Monique's house to drop lil Troy's clothes off why he couldn't wait for me but anyway.
He called me back and said he would be home before I got there .....................he was downstairs eating crabs when I got home I spoke then went to bed .................he stayed downstairs again...........
Okay so yesterday
I am fussing with Tausha again she calls me in the morning talking about how she has one up on Frank ....she had sex with him and then made him leave so she is on top now ...running shyt ...I just shook my head and called her a masochist ....I said "Tausha I want you to look this word up because this is what you are a MASOCHIST".
her "Yeah I'm a look it up because your probably calling me something that you already are".
me "I have been called and a many a thing but a masochist is not one of them I have never been a glutten for punishment you love the way Frank treats you and that's why you go back for the same ole bull shit your not on top your CRAZY". we got off the phone and you know what I felt like dayum I wish her the best but her drama was draining the hell outta me and sometimes I like my hell dayum (smile)
I got my usual Mark text and then I got one from Lee "Good Morning".
me " I was just thinking about you when the text came through I was like I'll check it later it's not gonna be from Lee so no big deal when BAM dude it was from you WOW"!
him "LOL".
me "No LOL nothing funny boy". ..........................Tausha called me talking about was my job hiring and could I send her a listing off the HR website ...............I told her I would but *Looking towards the heavens* Thankfully there were no postings in her field ...YES!!!!!!!!!!!
I sent Lee a text "when you get some time call me 202.###.#### (work number)". it took a few minutes for him to reply and it was "Ok". Now I know I said "SOMETIME". so I didn't expect him to call me ASAP I mean even though he is not working he still has a life and may even have someone in his life now so WOW! I have to respect his time and just wait I put it out there and I believe he will call but WHEN HE HAS SOMETIME just as I asked ..................*smiling* when I told Black about the e-mail I sent to Lee, putting him on reject and how Lee had fallin not just back but OUT of my life he said "Toni, you got just what you deserved...think about it.....you got just what you asked for"..................dayum, dayum, dayum SMH WOW! so now that I have put it out there all I can do is WAIT! I want his time back...conversation...I want him back in that part of my life that was his ....that part of my heart ...but only if he wants too be not on the strength of me pressing him (smile)
I talked with Cheryl for over 2 hours about this in that ....Mike, Lee, Melissa her drinking, Shay in trouble, James at Morgan, Theresa feelings about Mike, Lucky, Reno carrying Cheryl, Brittany getting skipped up a grade in school, Lee, Mike, Rob moving to Florida and her helping him, Maxwell show, NC, Rena party for her girlfriend, Tony, drinking, Rodney, Stacy and Theresa relationship, Lee and why she knows I am in love with him, her love for Mike, my money issues, her looking for a job, me moving with her down there in search of a new Lee (that was some funny, funny shyt), our love for each other, life lessons, Lee, my growth as a woman, Lee yeah we ended on a Lee pep talk .......I have my shield up and my heart is prepared for what ever he may bring my way I just .........yeah
just like I thought there was no call from him yesterday..............but I was still giddy inside ........
I left work at 7pm because I was to meet the dude with the masquerade ball tickets I waited for him in the Target parking lot for 30min and he didn't show up and then I left to pick up Necole from cheer practice. Went to CVS for toothpaste then home to watch Sons of Anarchy.
Steven came over to look at Tony's laptop
I saw 1/2 an episode of Family Guy and then was sleep.
This morning I gave Tausha the wake up call she was jive short but that's cool too (smile)
No call from Lee yet and that's cool too.........I just feel it he will call ......he will call...
Okay 2:30pm and nothing going on at work talked to my sister Nickee for 30min on the phone she told me all about her trip and how she thinks she may have fibroid's she has an appt for a ultra sound Fri at 4pm. She said she be in so much pain. I hope she doesn't and the med they gave her for infection will be all she needs.
I had to call Dr. B because I have Bacterial Vaginosis he called me in the med. I ran it past my sister who has had it twice and back in 2006 my gyn gave me the med for it but said I couldn't drink while taking it and since I was partying everyday I opted not to take it now I have a slight odor and feel like I'm always dripping or something anyway gotta get the cat taken care of I need her .............dayum at least I hope I'll be using her for something good soon dayum (wink)
I wanna call Cheryl but I can't get on the phone with her ass doing all that laughing and crying while talking to her and my work backing up (LOLOLOLOL)
So I'm just working..........listening to Pleasure P..........waiting for my phone to ring.......working and you get the picture.
Shay tried out for modeling and Necole is modeling with her school again for the Catwalk Classics I hope Shay makes it Necole didn't have to try out.
Don dada gets married this Saturday, Tony supposed to be getting us a room at the Gaylord Hotel I don't even wanna go and will tell him so tonight ....I just really don't wanna go.
This waiting is hard I mean I wanna call him and say "HEY LEE CALL ME BACK NOW DUDE". but I can't or I won't I just want him to call me I think .......no I know I am getting sick to my stomach.....yeah you guys I am feeling sick to my stomach ......I think I may cry .....................Okay well maybe not cry but I do feel sick geez I was so sure he was gonna call me today good grief could I really have nausea because he is not calling me.
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