Now during the warm up I started getting a headache ....we played on the field right next to the tent the food was being cooked in and it was like they were frying the chicken and fish in the same grease then the grease started burning and my migraine was getting like HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! I started feeling real nauseous and thought I was going to toss my cookies .....so after the game I walked far from the field and gagged swallowing it back Tiffany came over to me and I saw Don dada on her way ...Sice was looking and I was like whoa let me get it together. Sice was like "Your to old to be having a baby". As were walking back Lee comes over hears sice and says "let me find out".

I say "Stop playing ain't nobody pregnant I got a migraine". we're all hanging around Lee and me keep brushing our arms against each other and standing next to each other right?? so it's Sice, me, Lee and some other due standing across from me and we're all talking when Bonus walks up to the circle and sticks his hand out to me face down I put my hand out and he hands me his number Lee says "I'm a step off I don't want to see that". Like a dummy I step off with him ....as Tausha said I was chasing after him while Tony was there SMH!!!!!!!! Lee "Man go head Toni do you".

me "You know this number means nothing to me".

him "Well I know something had to be exchanged for him to give you his number but it's cool I stepped off because I don't want to see that right in front of my face, I do me but you'll never see it". That dayum Bonus I had no idea he was gonna do something like that but then again no one knows about Lee and I so why NOT step to me like that.......I was blown I went back to the tent to tell Tony I was going to the van to get some medicine Tylenol #3. On my way to the car Troy was still trying to holla he said something about me and I said "No, I'm not even gonna say nothing".

him "You betta not you can't handle this ".

me "Whatever nucca square up then chump". He sets his cup down and we about to slap box when he looking over my shoulder like I'm supposed to look back to see who he looking at so he can sneak one in but your girl is too sharp for that and he finally starts laughing and says "I see you not falling for that one".

me "Boy, I'm a Cali girl I don't slip".

him "Well I wanna be there to catch you if you do".

me "I already got someone to catch me". (wink) He smirks and I step off. I tell everyone I'm about to roll out because I am sick .....really .....

James has to drive

Lee sending me texts asking me where I'm at ..........man when I got home I hit the bed and was out for the count ............woke up around 7:30pm and had 3 text from Lee "Wasup u str8"?, "Did u leave"? "I need to talk to you". and 2 missed calls from him I knew he was gonna be pissed.

When I hit him back he was like "Why you ain't answer the phone". we went back and forth for a minute and then he said he was getting ready to leave the park and would hit me back. He hit me back before he made it home but the service was shotty and we kept getting cut off but yet n still he was calling back (smile) finally I said hit me when you get home.

When he hit me back he was talking about his wife and how she was working his nerve about the bump beds, his daughter and her father beefing, his brother not giving him props on how well he played the game as a matter of fact no one on his team gave him his props, THEN ...He goes on to tell me what him and his man were saying about me his man Troy was like ....."So what's up wit your girl"

Lee "Man, I showed you her when you got there I said that's my folks right there".

Troy"Oh man I don't remember".

Lee "I bet you don't".

Troy "So what's you with her she was all smiling at me an shyt".

Lee "Man, I told you she gonna flirt cause that's how she do and she gonna test those pockets".

him "Oh you know I ain't got that paper".

Lee "Well you won't get far".

Troy "I bet I can fugg her".

Lee "Go head man try your hand I don't think you can tho".

Troy "Well how long it take you to fugg her".

Lee "Man, It took me a month but you not me remember go a head try your hand". Then Lee said to me later on he came to me and was like "She wouldn't give me the number".

Lee " Really". Lee was like "Man Toni if you would have gave him the number he would have fugged no matter if he my man or not that's why I called him a dirty dyck nucca". Now I was thinking oh he would have fugged uh? But I just listened and thought he still thinks I'm easy I'm nothing but a cheater to him not being able to hold it any longer I said just that to him and he was like "Toni you always take it another step I wasn't saying it like that"......Anyway I can't remember what was said after that because we got off the phone...not even sure why we got off the phone but we did.......

he called back and we talked a little about Michael Jackson Lee is a fan and still can't believe he is dead so he calls back and the first thing he says is "Toni, Mikes gone". .......we talk for a while then Maxwell comes on BET (the awards) now Lee doesn't like BET or watch anything on BET...keep that in mind

ANYWAY

He says "I'm a let you enjoy your boy hit me when he goes off". I hit him back and we rap for a little he talks about how he wants to fugg and yada, yada, yada then he says "I'm about to go to sleep and hit you back".

me "Okay cool". ..................

now why in the hell when he hits me back it's maybe 30min or less and he is wide awoke talking about how he caught the end of the awards and wasn't this and how did I like that and then he said "Yeah cause I was just talking to somebody and they said XYZ" about 5min after that statement he said "Yeah my folks sista was just saying how she hasn't been able to talk to any one in 2 days after hearing about Mike". We talk some more and then got off the phone for the rest of the night. He gave me the wake up call and then ..................

Monday

Was a ......a.....let's see didn't hear from the Golden Girls like I thought I would I mean it was the work day after Sherellie's 40th B-Day so I thought we would have been chatting it up, I didn't get on Twitter, I blogged and missed Lee ..........yeah I missed him but just the thoughts of the shyt we do and talk about kept and keeps a smile on my face so I was content with it.

He called me around 11 something and was chilling with the boys on his way to his brother's house, He sent me a around 2 something and then again around 4 something he called me to say he was still chilling and see what I was up too both times I rush him off the phone because I could feel he was going to get off anyway and I would rather me end the convo first. (SMH so JR high)

This nucca I met on MySpace has been texting me like crazy and yesterday it was non stop I kept thinking it was going to be Lee and it was MySpace Corey .....He wants us to hook up so bad talking about a party at the X4B on Saturday ....Just might hit it but we'll see.

I left work at 8pm I sent Lee a and he replied with "Still out with my man what you doing"?

me "Chillin with my girl".

When I got home Tony called me with people in the back ground sounded like he was tipsy too. He says "The store just got robbed I gotta go back to the job".

me "Is everyone okay"?

him "Yeah they hit Jose over the head and laid the other manager down I have to go back to the store".

me "Where you at what's all those people talking?? never mind".

him "I'm over Joan's peoples house someone got set out around here it's Joan's brother's birthday". Or some shyt he was saying that shyt just wasn't sounding right so I left it the hell alone and told him to hit me later.

Tausha and I had plans for Sideline and she was picking me up I decided I wouldn't tell Lee he would have to contact me to see what my 20 was ....so Tausha scoops me a little after 10pm she looking cute too....got her hair braided in tiny senegales with a reddish aubrun color she had on Tan capri's a dark brown lace top and matching heels that had orange, tan and dark Brown flowers on them she brought the Orange out with her orange eyeshadow and a hit of it on her lips ....Lee was right she do be doing it when we go out....like he says she puts a effort in it....He said she be like "Shyt Toni you aint gonna be the only one mackin tonight" He said every time he has seen her she looks nice.

I had on a Tan and Gray mini dress that was hugging my body in all the right places, a brown clutch and gray high heel sandles I even put on eyeshadow for the smokey eye look ....LETS GO!!!!

I called Tony like 5 times to check on him and make sure everything was okay.......couldn't reach him but oh well I tried.

half way there Lee send me a text "Still chillin what you doing"?

me "Heading out ".

Lee "Where you going tonight"?

me "Sideline".

him "Ok".

When we get there we notice it's not that many cars out there but we go in anyway and we were right there wasn't many people inside but as we're standing around looking for ....anyone we may know the guy turns around in front of me and it's non other then SKIP....looking good as always he looks me up and down, hugs me and says "Is that dress for me". I laugh at him and then he hits wink who smiles and gives me the head nod I say "Hey Wink". Skip said it's his cousins Birthday who is the same dude who pitched for us during a scrimmage ....he is from UI ALLSTARS I think his name is Marc I hug him and tell him Happy Birthday. Then we head over to the bar. Tausha spots Champ outside and we head to the patio. Where we stay for the remainder of the night eating, drinking and talking shyt with the dudes at the table behind us.....we had a nice time.

I sent Lee a and he didn't respond..........

Some dude from Run/DMV tried to holla at me...I wasn't feeding into that ...no more Kick ball dude it's getting way to hot out that joint ....dude said he would find me ...we'll see ....

I do plan to hit Bonus up for some convo tho I keep forgetting his number in my van SMH I'll hit him up tomorrow can't wait to see what's up with that first sex convo and that's a wrap.

ANYWAY

We left a little after closing and still no text from Lee I tell Tausha and she say's "Bitch you drive lets hit it we doing a Lee house drive by".

It wasn't until I was headed his way I thought.......HOLD UP I DON"T WANT HER KNOWING WHERE HE LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!! so I planned to hit a fake street ....I sent him a text "You still out"? he calls me right back "Hey I'm at the house with a bunch of kids I got my daughter, their cousins, my folks sister kids it was everyone want to come to Lee's house tonight and hang up under me". I can hear a bunch of kids in the back ground too. I bust a U turn heading back to my crib.....I say "It's all good".

him "Yeah I'm not mad about it so you left the sideline ...done with your flirting ".

me "yeah you know how I do".

him "So what you about to do now"? he was sounding like...like....maybe he wanted to see me....but I don't know how with a house full of kids but since he didn't say anything I didn't either.

me "Go home".

him "and do what"?

me "Get in my bed".

him "Sounds good ....so call me when you get in the house".

me "Okay"...........the rest of the drive home I could think of nothing else but talking with Lee until I fell asleep....but this is not what happened........I sent him a text that said I was home ...maybe it was over the top I said "I'm home call me when you can Daddy Daycare Lee I am so in like with you even as mushy as that may sound I say to hell with mushy say what you really feel when you feel it". ..............and NOTHING NO RESPONSE....

Tony was yelling for me to come downstairs and when I went down there he was like "Where your pants"?

me "I didn't have any on I wore it like this".

him "You better have on panties under there pull up your dress...come here".

me "No". now of course I had on panties but I didn't like how he was talking to me ....Tausha calls me to say I left my ID in her purse and to come outside and get it....I go outside and when I come back Tony says "Go back up stairs get out my face I don't want to talk to you now I told you to do something and you didn't do it so get out my face". All he had to do was tell me one time and I went upstairs, locked the door and got in the bed eating my sunflower seeds wishing Lee would call me...................

Lee didn't even call me this morning with the wake up call. I didn't hear from him until 11 something and then we talked for like 20min his daughter was all in his ear saying this in that and I was like DAYUM!!!!!!!!!!!! so far today we have just been sending texts messages back and forth ..........I tell you guys school can't get back to soon for me that's for sure. I sent him a text that said I wanted to fugg and he said he did too man I wanna get it in tonight and I think off the late night I'm a tell .......yeah tell not ask ....tell him to meet me outside so we can get in his ride and get it on I want it bad with a capital B.

Skip sent me a text just now that said "You killed em in that dress last nite". (smile)

People in general are so funny to me lately

listen

some fat people talk about other fat people like they not fat they dayum self.....

some people judge others before getting to know someone..........

some people claim to be honest but then lie about their true feeling everyday........

some people love to ride off others shine ...not even trying to get their own........

some people are so afraid of change even when the change is happening to someone else.....

some people can't come up with an idea of there own .....even if you paid them....

some people become more known or famous after they die..........

Some people can't wait to see me fail...........

some people want to have a man either like Tony or they want Tony (LOL) ...........

some people smile in my face but can't stand me behind my back..............

some people wanna steal my joy ...they can't understand it .....

some people never will....

some people will never experience love .....real...love...

some people will die ...having lived their whole life as a lie...........

I shake my head at those some people

TONI~