Add on for today ..........

Tony called me this afternoon around 12:30pm I ask him if he confirmed for us to meet Chanita at the Market Place Friday for her birthday he says "I told Teka we would stop by for a few". me "Okay". him "Why"? me "I was going to swing past the Bar and wanted to see if it was okay before I say I wont go and then we end up not going to the Market either and you do your own thing and I end up at home again." him "Naw, We gonna go for a little, You been to lunch yet?" me "No". him "I was gonna bring you lunch what you want I just left the food bank in VA and they got Chipotle, Boston Market or Chick-Filet"? I say "um Chick-Filet". I give him my order I'm feeling all siced my husband is bringing me some lunch and I don't have to eat the leftover lunch from yesterday. Tif asks what I'm getting for lunch and I proudly say "Tony's bringing me something to eat". I call him back since it's after 1pm now and he say's "There is not Chick-Filet up this way (when was he gonna call and tell me that) and I just past Boston market I'ma call you back". At 1:30pm I call him back (since he hadn't called me) and say "Where you at? Near any food places". him "Naw, just McDonald's". (when was he going to call me?) I tell him " I was just wondering I'm hungry and usually go to lunch by 1pm ...I'll just eat what I have here at work from yesterday" him "Oh I thought you went at 1:30pm". I begin asking him how come he kept passing food spots and not stopping to get me anything when he yells "DO YOU WANT ME TO BRING YOU SOMETHING OR NOT"?  me "No, that's okay". and I hang up his cell was breaking up anyway and my heart felt heavy ....kinda achy and wierd as if I might cry over something so small. I called him back 5 times and got the voicemail each time so I just left him a message telling him how hurt I was.......it's not the fact that he didn't bring me anything it's just my pride ....the fact I said he was going to bring me something and then ......now he's not. .....I swear it's this blue thing.

While Tony was suspossed to be still on his way he had called me to tell me to call Nickee and tell her to come pick up a box of food. While talking to her I made the mistake of telling her how excited I was Grandma and them were coming down and staying with me. Her "NOT the whole TIME". me "Oh". her "Well see Mom was going to come before Christmas and I was asking her to bring Mason (our newest Nephew) down with her but then after she talked to you it became this Christmas thing and Marques is not gonna let Mason come for Christmas anyway I told mom they could stay with you a few days and stay with me. But if you want you can keep mom the whole time and Grandma can stay with me the whole time". I said nothing just "Oh well it's no big deal I guess they can split the time up the way they want too". her "Cool I am so excited mommy said you were too but I knew not as much as me girl I'll be over your house everyday we'll be baking cookies and stuff". No longer am I excited about the visit (when it rains it pours with my blues) ....................What would possess me to think she would just stay at my place for a week and visit with Nickee.....could be because last visit she they stayed at her crib the whole time(slept) but visited with me too  FUCK IT I won't cry my mother has built me like this since I was a child .........I feel nothing ......I won't cry .....Fuck it let them stay where they stay and .........I pray my favorite holiday of all time won't turn into a nightmare.

Just as I finished my 1st blog of the day Rude boy called me and yesterday while Tiffany and I waited for the train Big Boi sent me a text asking me if "I was ready yet"? I didn't reply to him and nor did I answer Rude's call ......now after the way Tony has made me feel inside I could use some good flirting with Rude ....just to hear him say some of that shit that makes me smile, laugh and think to myself BULLSHIT

With a topic like this you know it's gonna be chuck full of stuff uh?

I didn't work at all last night but instead went to the movie screening of P2. I called Tony and kinda begged him to go with me but he ment what he ment when he said "No". For a real quick nano second I thought of inviting Rude or AJ but sent e-mails to my girls inviting them instead everyone said they couldn't go so I was going to go solo dolo. Well it turns out Tiffany was going alone as well. She had left work early for a f/u doc appt  and was so pressed to have her own ticket I just knew she was bringing somebody with her.  I was glad to see she was alone as well. We had a nice time at the movies it was a pretty lame movie .......I mean there were only 8 people in the whole movie and a dog.... the movie took place in a parking garage and the white chick was a for real dumb blonde . What made it cool was being there with TIf and us cracking jokes, losing SISTER ONLY tickets and thinking we were sneaking  McDonalds in the theater. . Tif gave me a ride home from the movies and when nobody came to the door after I rang the door bell twice  I knew they were in the basement and the music must be loud. I was right Shay and Mo were knocked out , Necole was doing some math homework in her room did I tell you guys she got a 83% on her last math test  Necole says "Before you go downstairs dad has company". I go to the basement the music is pumping some Devon the Dude and Tony is in the DJ booth  there are people I have never seen before sitting in folding chairs and James is at the  computer downloading music to his IPOD . Demar is on the couch and after I kiss Tony who asks me how I got home but doesn't even wait for the answer before he puts his headphones back on . Demar hands me a beer introduces me I smile and wave hello  The girls look sorta young which made me feel old ....I went back upstairs and sat in front of the TV I watched Mind Freak and The Real Desperate Housewives Towards the end of Mind Freak Tony sat on the couch next to me his company gone and asked how I got home?, what was I watching?, was the movie stupid? yada?, yada?, yada? I answered the questions with 1 and 2 answers I just did'nt feel like talking to him......................I can be honest with you guys so I'll just say it. I felt like if he wanted to know about the movie he should have went after the way I begged him just because..... I BEGGED. And then too he didn't want to go with me after all the begging I did but had time to have a lil listening party with his folks uh? I just didn't want to talk with him and he could tell because he went right to bed and sleep  . I ended up falling a sleep towards the end of the Desperate housewives  still on the couch in the front room and woke up just as the credits were running. I went to bed pushed ....well shoved Tony awake so he could get on his side of the bed and went to sleep.

I was up at 6:20am, made it to work early since I had class which gives me 30min OT.

Tonight I have to bring the winter clothes up and take Mo to GS, Necole had her final audition for Catwalk classics today James did his on Monday. Tony is going to the food bank today. It has been such a blessing to us and others Tony has been giving food too as well. It helps us out a lot.