As soon as I got home I decided to start cooking so the kids could eat before Nickee picked them up. I was waiting on the broccoli to finish when she called and said she would be there in 20min it was like 6:45pm. I called her back "Your not rushing to get over here are you? Cause I was trying to finish the broccoli so I could feed the kids before they went home". her "Don't worry about it I haven't eaten either and was going to just order pizza".
me "Okay cool". She calls back like 3 mins later I'm sure after she spoke with Mike and was like "Go a head and feed them please, I'll be there in 20min I have to pick up my car from Mike's". I feed the kids and tell them their mother will be there in 20min. Captain kept looking out the door for her. I gave the kids Popsicles and watched Oprah with Tony it was an episode about love stories. This one couple had been writing each other love letters in spiral notebooks for 20 something years. I looked at Tony because I had an idea similar to that like 5 years ago but he never touched the notebook 
I left on the TV 
in the bedroom. My sister showed up at 9:30pm high as hell. How did 20min turn into 2-3 hours is beyond me. I did not mind keeping them but seeing them looking for her was pissing me off they wanted to see their mother and she was doing God knows what. I couldn't even look at her I said my goodbyes to the kids, paused Hero's and went to pick up James from work. Nickee's van is blocking me in and I see Mike sitting in the passenger seat. He's speaking to Necole but I know he saw me through my hand up and say"Hey Mike". He didn't respond maybe he heard me maybe he didn't but I said it so fuck him.
After I got back from picking up James Necole and I finished watching Hero's it was so good last night. I called Tiff hoping she was watching it but she had just caught the end of it.
I watched the stories and looked at the Glamor magazine with Necole. I was in bed reading by 11pm and Tony was in bed reading a book 
beside me........he must have read 1 page and he was sleep 
...I swear he has had this book for almost a year
.............It's so hard to believe he beats me in scrabble since he doesn't read or spell as well as me ....his vocab is not as wide as mine he just knows where to put them damn letters on the board.....
No love making even though Ruby left 2 days ago I just have not felt in the mood. But tonight it maybe on and poppin I saw the way he was checking me out in my pink thongs with white lace trims and my White bra with Pink gingham trimming 
......yeah tonight it's gonna be on.
Saturday is Markie's baby shower 
and since it's a family event I was so happy to receive an invite 
It starts at 2pm and I'm sure it's gonna be nice and fun you know how we do when P. and the family get together.
This morning everyone was on time and Tony and I prayed this morning before we left the house 
not in the car like the last few days because we were running late (smile).
Pumpkin sold all the puppies 
so no dog for us. 
Rude boy called me yesterday and I also got a strange text at 12:41am from a number I didn't recognize it simply said PLEASE CALL ME ...............................weird I tried to call it back *67 but it has to many numbers. Then when I listened to my messages I had one from Cup Cake she wants to ask me something. I called her from work and told her to call me back on my work phone. I wonder whats up.
Tam-Tam and I both canceled the pics 
she said we would do them after the Holiday
.
I am so over my crush now .....just like that I guess Cheryl is right I am like the wind I've been checking someone else out for the last 6 months or so .......It's no big deal but they have been checking me out as well the thing is they work in my building and I only see them on the train and once months ago in the hallway. It's just this feeling .......like it's a challenge because why isn't he saying anything to me ....I have to break him .......get him to stop starring, checking me out and at least say "Hi". .....even my inviting smile has not broke the silence.
.......................He kinda puts me in the mind of Rude boy but much taller.
I talked with Cheryl on Saturday morning she wanted to use or address so she could keep her MD tags I was like cool. Then she talked about how sick she has been and yada, yada, yada then she hit me with the Theresa thing ......Theresa has been asking how I have been and stuff a whole lot lately now that's a given we always check up on each other and say "Don't tell her I asked about her". ................She's the girl I almost left my family for ..........I left her waiting for me one night in the Coral Hills parking lot ............we were going to run away and leave or families behind ..............I just couldn't leave my kids like that............if I didn't have the kids I would have done it.................if I could have been stronger.........if I thought I could live without them for a second .......I would have left but I ....put my heart, feelings, love on the back burner and didn't show up. Things got ugly and Tony found out.....things blew up he left........said he would make sure he got custody of the kids and I would never see them again......Theresa kept coming to my job putting the press on me ............I wanted to die .......I really wished for death being a coward, not going with my heart, letting go of someone I loved more then anything at the time was rough and put me in a very depressing state of mind. I turned to pills......percocet, vicodin, Tylenol # 3 .......things were bad........Tony told my family ...my dad, my mom , my aunt and I was being talked to about lesbians and going to hell ......it was like no one was on my side and to make everyone happy I better get over it and bring my family back to the Huxtables which we were so fondly known as (smirk)
Any who I told Cheryl to tell her I was doing fine and everything is everything ........When I said how is she doing she said " She's fine too everything is everything just waiting". ......That just waiting is code for I'm still in her heart 
........If I want to give her a message for "I'm ready ......lets runaway for real this time".....it's .....shit you think I would tell you guys ....that shit might get back to Tony and I'll have to kill yaw. (Smile)
One more day of work to go................I hope to win tickets to see The Hitman tonight wish me the best.
I have one of my doctor's pager while she is gone to Chicago for Thanksgiving......I just hope no one calls with an emergency and I'm chilling forgetting all about the pager...........Tiff made a good point when she mention overtime........I won't get paid but maybe I'll get a Christmas gift this year last year she got me a big fat NOTHING!!!!
Still Feeling Good
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