This morning as soon as I got to work I checked my bank account and BAM I had money in the account  ....kinda wierd since I wrote a check to have the cell phone cut on and I knew I would be in the negative .........well the damn bank sent the check back which ment or means my cell will be cut off anyway and I don't have the money to pay for it since I paid a cash loan off (down to 2 now) and then I put $200 in my pocket and $100 for aftercare. We are a month behind with the mortgage and Tony should have paid it when I told him too but I guess he'll pay it today he has no choice..........I forgot I'm going to pay Jerome back the $120 ......I know, I know I have never paid him back before but if I'm gonna try to do right by Tony I have to pay it back and then TRY not to borrow from him again aaarrrgghhh so that leaves me with ......with .....change ....naw for real change. Lets see ..........we have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, healthy children, my health, lots of food to eat (thanks to the food bank) heat to keep us warm, all bills are paid so what else could I ask for?......naw, let me change that last question what else could I NEED? I'm just concerned about my cell being cut off again but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Pumpkin has to keep the girl Roc in the house since she is due to have the puppies this month soooooooo we'll be getting a new puppie  sometime soon a boy this time and not the runt of the litter  RIP Gracie ......I miss her so.

Cheryl called me back yesterday she left me a message saying she missed me and thanking me for wishing her a happy birthday. She also said she spoke with Tony.

Today is my niece Kira Birthday  she is 10 today and having a skating party this Sunday .....more money .... anyway I have to get her something nice for turning 10yrs old maybe something for her room since she asked for it to be decorated for her birthday. Saturday Mo has the share party for GS but does not have a non-girl scout to take with her so far all her friends are girl scouts and her one friend Moni has something to do so I'm trying to think.........hold up Mia let me see if she'll let Cree go.

I have 3 good movies at home to watch this weekend so I guess I'll be in all weekend beside doing the kid stuff. I kinda don't mind .....I think it has to do with the cold weather and my winter blues . I always get this way in the fall/winter months and when Spring/Summer hits I'm this wild party  animal beast hitting the streets, flirting like crazy and just trying to live the single life. So that's when the real test will come once the weather breaks. Don't get me wrong I'm still gonna hit the streets it just won't be the same.

Last night Nickee came to pick up her box  Tony made for her from the food bank she was siced and amazed by all the stuff we gave her.  Troy on the other hand called Tony the next day and said " A young they aint have no juice? Why you didn't get me any juice"? I could tell Tony was kinda hurt I said "What did you say"? him "I wanted to say your so ungrateful I drove all the way to VA brought all the food back then had to box it up and then delivered it to you and your tripping off juice but I just said naw man, they didn't have juice". I just shook my head I don't know why he doesn't let Troy have it and then he tells me Tre called and asked him for Emel's phone number (they are brothers but don't live together Tre lives with Tracy the mom but she doesn't want Emel so he has been to just about every family member house to live including us and now stays with Aunt Rip) Tony said he was giving Tre the number and Tracy yells ""Who dat you talkin ta"? (shes ghetto) Tre"Uncle Tony". her "Ask him when he gonna get your Christmas stuff shit ". Tony said he just ignored her but who does she think he is Santa. I shook my head again I swear so many of his family take him for granted he can't have me doing it too. I have got to change my ways.

After we put Mo to bed we watched Transformers while lyng on the couch like back in our high school days . Once in bed we made love and he held me all night while we slept I was on time for work again today.

Yesterday I was talking with Felicia and she reminded me of something years ago.  I was broke up with Tony for like a week ...James was like 6 months and I was seeing some dude anyway we were in my room about to have sex I mean he was about to enter me when Tony burst the door wide open and dude jumped up , Tony snatched me up by my arm sheet still hugged to my body and dragged me down the steps he yelled "What the fuck you think you were doing ". Then trew me on the couch, walked out and went back to his house which was right behind ours from my bedroom window I could see his front door so he must have been watching and when he seen the candles burning and the lights out he knew what time it was. My younger sister Nickee was suspossed to be on the look out but some look out she turned out to be. It's funny when I think about it now but back then I was scared  dude was reaching for his pistol and it was a trip. Tony and I have been through some shit that is how I know I have a story to tell I just need to get motivated with my book.