It always amazes me how I could be in a very good mood and then talk to Tony and feel crushed so down in the dumps.

When I 1st found out I won the tickets I called him and said I would tell the girls and will take them all. When he said "No, The girls are still on punishment". I said "Oh, so it's just you me and Mo" well when he said he wasn't going to go I decided I didn't want to take Mo by myself and invited my girls Mia and P. Clark my sister can't go Kira is sick. I called Tony who I have called 3 times to today spoke with him a hot second since he was real busy and I told him I missed him and loved him shit like that. He has not called me all day right? So I call him and say "Hey, I'm not gonna take Mo with me to the movies tonight what you think"? him  "Don't tell me your not going to take her and then ask me what I think". Me  "Okay". him "JUST DON'T TAKE HER THEN"!! me "Okay". We got off the phone and I instantly felt bad I felt like damn maybe I should take her, I felt like damn what did I just do to deserve that, I felt like I hate my life and maybe I should be alone, I felt so many different things................

This morning I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.........naw take that back ............When I went to iron my clothes I must have walked down the wrong side of the stairs because when I heard James try to cut his TV off when he heard me coming I got down right pissed.  Am I the only one who remembers the kids are on punishment even last night I was telling Tony I was sure to win tickets to see Omarion  in Feel the noise tonight and the girls said they wanted to go and how come they couldn't. Me "You guys are still on punishment". Shay "Nu uh dad said were not on punishment uh Necole"? Necole " Right, Mommy daddy said were not on punishment". Me "Oh".  I go to the basement to ask Tony about it and true he says "Baby, their not on punishment they don't have to stay in their rooms". Me "Yeah, but they can't go anywhere, no phones, 2 hr TV time, 2hr study time, no company, no radios what is that"? I don't wait for the answer I just shake my head and throw my hands up in the air forget it I'm thinking just forget it forget this whole punishment thing. 

Then this morning when James still had his TV on I was livid. After I ironed the clothes I went upstairs and lost it. I shut the door and said "You know what Tony I don't know about this punishment thing it's like ...it's just not making any since you didn't take the cable out James rooms he was watching TV all night, the girls don't think their punished you don't think their punished, You let James get his IPod because of a field trip I mean I just give up it's pointless your the one who had all the rules wrote down on the paper, you read it off to them everyone agreed they understood and still it's chaos. Your more concerned about a clean house then the kids grades and attidudes I just give up". him "Oh so your just gonna quit on me right? I can't unplu his cable without messing up the whole thing"! I'm thinking I could have sworn one time you took the whole TV out of the room. I say nothing just finish getting ready for work. As I get ready to head out the door he hands me a fucking bill that says we owe the apartment $300 and this is to some Sabrina lady and I'm thinking damn since July I have been paying this Ronbert dude $153.75 and he might not be the right person aaarrggghhh I was pissed, nervous and scared  I can't deal with any more money issues I am broke. We were already on our way to the van which ment I had to go back in the house and tear it apart to find the info for the lawyer I'de been paying. Needless to say the ride to the metro was done in silence. I could tell Tony was hurt by the way I acted this morning I have got to learn to mask my feeling better around him .

When I got picked up yesterday Tony had Mo and Shay with him, We went to the library and walked out with so many books  he had to jump out the van to help us carry them.  I left my cell in the car and Shay said it kept ringing I checked it and called Crystal back first she wanted to drop her daughter off to use our computer for her homework since their internet was down. I told her "Yeah, sure but why didn't you take her to the library instead of waiting on me to get home I have to pick Necole up but James is in there go a head and drop her off". Next I called a unmarked number back ........why did I do that it as Big Boi and he wanted me to go to Virginia Beach Saturday with him. I could have sworn I told him before I was going out of town on the 5th of this month but he must have forgot and then I'm trying to talk jive low and be discreet since Tony is right there and Big Boi keeps saying man this is my second invite you only get one more he was kinda whinny and I was getting pissed . After I hung up I was waiting for Tony to ask who it was so I could say" why? Do you tell me who your talking to". But he didn't say anything. We picked Necole up from the metro and stopped to get Shay something to pack for her field trip lunch. I also told Tony about the crazy ass dude Damion at my job who was just down right trying to hit on me and even while I gave him a hug he tried to kiss my neck and talking about us hooking up. I told Tony because I want him on stand by I think this dude be off the dippers for real and Tony might have to check him for sure.

Once home I made oodles n noodles for dinner and watched Heros with the girls. Mo read 2 books to Tony and Monica was still doing her homework. I went to check on her and found her little ass on my space . I called Crystal and told her to come get her daughter.

I was in bed by 10:30pm watching Friday with Tony and the girls we had put Mo to bed already. James is still not talking to me but we had a ball cracking up at that damn movie we all know it word for word

I can't wait to see the movie tonight I called Tony to tell him I won and to see if he wanted to go with me ...........he's acting all stank and said naw I don't want to see it after he had said cool at first he just switched up. Cool I think I'ma ask Jerome or Rude Boy but I'm afraid just yet since I told Tony where it was and I would hate for him to surprise me and show up but damn I don't want to go alone and he said the girls couldn't go since they were punished  I  don't think P. or my sister would like to see it but I'll ask them first.