Okay you guys got the part when the company we were working with got us approved to catch us up on the mortgage right? I am so happy about that we will be keeping the house God is good and always right on time

Man I realized I really don't have anyone to hang out with anymore there for it has been me hanging with Lee or I will be hanging with Tony since I...... mean....... I have missed out on a few outing due to my girlfriends not hanging ......Tausha is bunned up with Frank or Duke, P Clark got the baby, Kris is working on her marriage, Tiff is busy, I have talked with Jo on more then 1 occasion but she be going one side of MD while I be on the other . I don't want Lee thinking I'm only hanging with him now even though he said I am his BF right now (smile) he even said "Since you found out I be putting down the dang a ling you don't hang out as much as a matter of fact you be with me 3-4 times a week". All I could do was shake my head I mean with all the going through with Tony I really don't want to be at home but the only outlet offered to me is ............my Lee baby (smile)

James prom is tonight and he is excited but you know he is bossy he is trying to tell the girl which dress to wear and all dat I just be SMH at him and his ....his....bossy ways. Lee seems to think he is flamboyant (lol) it's amazing how much you can learn about someone if you just listen. Lee remembers so much pertaining to my children and just there attitudes. WE were talking about Mo and how she doesn't like to go to bed on time.......her bed time is 9:30pm so Tausha suggested putting her to bed at 8pm. When I was telling Lee about it he said "That's a good idea that way by 9:30pm she will be winding down".

me "Yeah I'm gonna do that".

him "Man I better talk to Necole about this because you hardly be home at around 8:30am and I think Necole and Shay will do a better job at seeing she get's to bed on time". I was cracking up because that statement he made is ole so true.

XXX

At work yesterday it was said I would go over Lee's house to ...sorta help him relieve himself of some stress .......You guys know Ruby is still visiting right? So I'm like okay some oral and a hand job should be good right? Okay now I hate doing both I just don't see the point the hand job works good for Tony but remember I have been with his ass since....like.....forever so I know right were to touch and even how to stroke it just right....this Lee shyt is new I mean ....yeah so anyway I was like what the heck I'll go over there and see what I can do (smile)

I asked Lee if he would paint my nails and he said he had never done it before and why do I keep asking him to do shyt like that.....he finally said he would paint them for me when I came over I just couldn't get mad because he didn't know what he was doing. I told him I wouldn't ....there is something ....some kind a thrill I get being the first female to get a guy to do something (smile) and with Lee he is so manly and his wife treated him as the head (Muslim stuff) she never asked him to do stuff like that. I asked him if he ever put make-up on a woman before and he was like "Why would I do that I don't like make-up so why would I do that" So you guys know I have got to get him to do it for me I mean .....come on I am an attention getter, love to be the certain of attention, feel loved, feel #1 better then the rest (smile)

Lee had been telling me how before the summer is over we going skinny dipping in his pool and he wants to have sex with me in the pool .......I have never done either one ..........so I tell him "I'm not going skinny dipping".

him "Why not? I've already seen you naked so what's the big deal"?

me "Whatever". I tell him to hit me up later and I'll come over he is all excited because it has been a week since we have seen each other and um...yeah

When I get home I change my clothes and lay across the bed to relax watching the spelling bee. Tony comes home smothering me .....I mean kissing me, holding me, talking to me, He brought me some 992's but they are to big so I have to take them back. I told him "Thanks so much baby". ........I don't want you guys to ever think I am being rude to him or pushing him away I'm just being me .....living my life and being honest with myself and him.

Lee sends me a text just asking what I am doing and yada, yada, yada then the real reason for the questions comes out "WHY YOU NOT HERE"??????????????????? (smile) he called I ignored it and then he sent me a text "Jus called u no ans".

I called him "What's up"?

him "You".

me "You said you would call me".

him "Well I'm calling you now"! I tell him I was on my way and after the spelling bee I do just that.

XXX

When I pull up this nucca is outside waiting for me to pull up we hug, kiss and then go inside..........just to chill. When I'm leaning on his chest and he kisses my forehead I get so turned on ........no bull...............it's so soft and dayum ....it works every single time.....anyway he's doing that while I'm trying to concentrate on TV his hand are rubbing my ass which he states is big and it doesn't look as big with my clothes on but it's big enough for him and the way it bounces and jiggles against his ....um......yeah! I'm rubbing his/ my dyck and he's putting his head back moaning softly with his eyes clothes (smile) I was doing a good job but he didn't cum so I'm like that was pointless I mean what good was that and I felt like I didn't do as good a job as I thought so ...........NEXT. Now I never said my head game was tight because this is something else that I don't see the point of ........Tony has come a bunch of times while I have done this but when he doesn't it's like what was the point of that .....okay........so I put my head down to give him the blow job without him even asking me or nudging me I just did it and I mean he was moaning the same as the hand job and I could feel like dayum I was doing a good job when ........what is the point no skeet .....no nothing the head was not even wet .....I felt let down like what the hell good is that or my head game must suck literally............He went to get something to eat didn't offer me any but did offer me a soda (SMH) ............Then we watched Trading Places with Eddie Murphy then we both fell asleep .....in each others arms ..................OH!!!!!!!!! why did this nucca say "I can get a towel".

me "For what"?

him "You know what for I mean it's just a little blood come on let me put it in, just 2-3 strokes or until you cum". My mouth was wide open what in the hell was what I was thinking so I said "WHAT IN THE HELL!!!! you've done that a lot of times before"?

him looking like ....like ....sorta nervous in the face "Yeah just my wife".

me "That is gross naw". He begged me a few more times and I mean if we were a couple,couple, like serious then I may have. I mean Tony and I have done it a time or two (blush)

This morning he brought it up again and was like it's not a big deal Toni it's just a little blood me "Lee don't be doing that shyt with a bunch of women".

him "Hell naw not no dirty stank chicks just you".....................gross, gross, gross ..........I don't know what to think about it but gross.

and wouldn't you know Ruby has now left the building.

I told him today that I was gonna fall back and hang out more and stop spending all my free time with him then maybe he could focus on getting a J.O.B. . I hurt his feelings I can tell I have been talking to this dude hours on end since Feb 12th 2009 ........yeah I would say I know him a little bit folks. Don't ask me why or how I let all that come out without running it past Tiffany first (LOL) but it's done and I can't retract the words like a e-mail

Met this guy sorta looks like Rick Ross at the metro yesterday his name is Rick. He said "Can I pray that you call me"?

me "Prayer always works".

him "I like your boots".

me "Thanks". I'll think I'll call and add him to the rotation.

Rude Boy called me and invited me to a house party at his house this Saturday. I'll go if I have someone to go with me and if not I'll go over and check out what Lee is doing (lol)

I guess I need to call and make nice with him right now just in case I can't get anyone to go with me Saturday night I will always have Lee. I just don't want to be home.

I'm having a toy party for my sister Saturday not sure this will be a big turn out I sorta forgot about it and just sent out the evites