Okay I really don't even want to go into these other days that are so lost behind me ..............Lee has been distant towards me lately ever since I saw that text transaction from Nat.....bish (lol) or could it be me since I seen it I'm pulling back but ........nope it's him

1. When he makes a comment like he is tired and I say go ahead get off the phone and call me later he says okay where he never used to do that he would say don't rush me off the phone I want to stay talking to you.

2. When his other line beeps he gets off the phone with me "Let me take this other call I'll call you back". He does call back but like a hour or so later.

3. I feel a difference when were on the phone I can't put my finger on it but yeah something is up and maybe Tiff is right he is talking to another girl but nothing serious yet.

Man I feel like flicking off and dropping his ass before he drops me ...NO JOB HAVING, BROKE ASS, FALSE TEETH WEARING MUTHA SUCKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear I even sent him a text the other day that said "Are you okay I sense a distance between us does if have to do with money"? and he said "I've never had to go through this before and just haven't been to talkative it's alright it's not you". Believe me I don't think it's me I think someone else has his attention and I'm like pushing back so I don't get my feelings to hurt.

Boy I'm glad I said that

Monday

I couldn't wait to get to work and pull up my results my HIV was NON REACTIVE meaning NEGATIVE I called Lee right away "Guess what? Got my results back and my HIV is Negative".

him "I told you that". He sounded like dayum she really didn't believe me but who cares my shyt is straight I'll take it in another 6 months I don't think he's gonna get tested ........keeps talking about not having any ins and stuff *rolling eyes*

My Alkaline Phosphate was 144 which was high the range is 30-115 I seen that and was noid I googled it and it was mentioning LIVER and KIDNEY'S OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!! Panic did I, I thought about all the drinking I do and my own mother basically jinxing me a few months ago "Your gonna get sick don't call me when your sick you drink too much". OMFG! this is why Dr. B hates when I pull up my own results so I made an urgent appt with him for my shin splints (wink) I mean they do hurt but I needed to get that result info ASAP!

Dr. B looked at my legs gave me a week off kick ball, told me to keep icing my legs, Motrin 800, keep them elevated, rest my legs and no heels for a week .....................a whole week with no high heels uh?

Lee and I didn't talk much at all that day

I went to practice and sat it out since I am the captain ................the practice turned out really nice to me coach didn't say much he sat back and let Sice and Hawk do the coaching I thought that was a plan. Pitcher yelled up to me "Hey Toni I got next I'll tell you about it". I'm thinking he means out on injured reserved but later that night at sideline I would find out he meant when Tony messes up and is out the picture..........let me find out he crushing on me with his 40 year old ass .....what can a guy his age do for me but ..um....lets see ....PAY MY BILLS (LOL)

I went home and Lee said he was going to Sideline I lied and told him I was going to Apple Bees with Tausha .......I didn't want him to know I was sitting at home while he was out......................around 10pm Tausha calls me "Let's hit it girl lets go out I need a drink".

me "Cool let me get ready". I start getting dressed and decide to put on my Lollipop shoes .....they real cute but a box heel so I should be okay ...............not I could barely walk in them.

We get to Sideline at 10:45pm and who do I see when I first walk in I saw coach, Sice, Sam and pitcher ...coach points down to my feet .yeah whatever my cousin Shellie was there and she walked right up on Tausha and I when she leads me over to where she is sitting at the bar I see Lee talking to his brother. I am talking to Shellie and Kim who I didn't even know played and Kim was saying she thought she seen me a few times but I looked different and she couldn't remember my name. As were talking Lee walks past puts his arm on Kims shoulder and tells her he she better be at practice. she plays on the team him and his brother have been helping out. He then say's "What's up"? to me we hug and he say's in my ear "I'm out of here". I should have walked with him and got it in, in his car but I didn't he sorta walked to the other end of the bar I was trying to keep my eye on him to see if he left with someone but was distracted by Sam who came over to get a hug and talk about my shin splints and my heels ..............Amigo showed me some love and a few of his boys he has all of them calling me FINE ASS (LOL) ..................Skip came over to stand next to me and show some love and Tausha was like "How old is he T 12".........I would later find out he is 32 and sexy as shyt well I knew he was sexy but dayum..um ....yeah. Frog showed me some love and who else????????????????????????????????? Pitcher came over and showed love and told me he wanted next when Tony was out the way (lol). Lee sent me a text asking me if I had on heels I told him yes, and he said I was hard headed (smile).

Come to think of it I could have went to his house when I left the bar like I would normaly but I was sensing the distance already ...............anyway I texted him and asked him why he left as soon as I got there and he said he was about to leave honestly when I walked in and didn't want to sit in there while nucca's was flossing and buying me shyt and all in my face. I was like whatever but I told him I could have brought him a few drinks and he was like "I know that but I don't want that". WHATEVER! I'm getting sick of the whoa is me that I hear from him now more and more.

I ended up going home and was there before Tony.

Tuesday

RUBY came I was happy to see her but unhappy at the same time I mean I wouldn't be getting that good ...um...yeah and started feeling sad.

Didn't talk to Lee much and basically worked I sent Skip and text and we went back and forth for a while until I gave him my work number and he called we spoke on the phone small talk............he called me later that night as well and I enjoyed the covo I mean honestly I am so in like with Lee that Skip is just convo trying to feel this void I am feeling from Lee but Skip is funny he likes to read and is a comedian as well as a fashion designer who has a show this Saturday in B-More he has 30 pieces in the show and it's his 4th show he said Roc a wear and XO want him to go on tour with him .........I'm liking a lil project runway dude (lol)

I was in bed early and nothing exciting happened

Lee had already stated that 2 hours in between our convo's, getting off the phone with me to take another call and all that bull shyt.

Tony

I heard him talking to someone about the Keyshia Cole tickets (SMILE)

I found a list of notes he is keeping on everything I do about my cell phone always locked, talking on the phone, texting a lot, leaving out yada, yada, yada

Wednesday

Didn't go to practice and neither did the coach I think he got wind that we maybe asking him to step down for a while. We'll see what happens Saturday and Sunday

Didn't talk much with Lee during the day and I called Tony more and he was giving me the brush off and shyt I also been home more and his ass been going out (SMH)

Last night I spoke with Lee a few times sorta felt like the old times were back and then he said "Let me call you back when I get done eating ........3 hours later wait ..........after I talk to Skip on the phone he didn't call me all day at work while I was there any ways I left early to go to a conference with Mo's teacher who basically was talking about her behavior which I think has a lot to do with Tony and I so we have to get better with that even Lee said we have to put our feelings aside and deal with the kids as one ........anyway Lee called me to check on the conference and to make sure I got Shay's report card which I didn't because they were closed. .........so okay Skip calls me and says "I didn't call you at work today but since I begged enough for you to finally call me I'm gonna keep in touch with your ass............we talked about a bunch of stuff and I can tell he wants to hit it.........I can tell......I want to let him too but I have to get something out of the deal F that .........................we will see........we will see.............anyway Lee sends me a text " "

me "Yeah uh? that was da longest dinner eva".

him "Come on don't be that way". Tiff calls me back and were on the phone rapping when Lee calls I click over tell him to hold on and then put his ass on hold for a good while...............we talk for a while then Karen calls me I rap with her and Lee hangs up I call him back and say "Dang you just gonna hang up like that". He hits me with what I say to him "I figured I would let you talk and you would just hit me back".

me "Oh yeah don't hit me with what I be saying to you". My line beeps and it's Rude Boy ...........dayum Rude you still trying your hand uh? maybe he does really have interest in me ...............(LOLOLOLOL TIFFANY) I click over and rap with him too for a while and Lee hangs up again (smile)

We finally get a good 30min convo in with no interruptions when Lee starts complaining about his stomach pains and gas he tells me he hasn't been taking the Nexium like I told him too so I told him I didn't want to hear his bytching since he wasn't following the directions.

Lee used to be addicted to benadryl while over in Iraq .......he would take it so he could sleep..........he does have a problem sleeping at night..................dayum I can't wait the day after Ruby takes her ass away from here I'm spending the night with Lee I gotta .........get that....um yeah.

Anyway we been talking off and on today nothing big no sex talk not even any comments about him being hard and wanting me..............Tiffany said I have a right to ask if he is sleeping around since we don't use protection and we have an agreement.

Anyway Tony said he is tired with our relationship and just doesn't care any more

he said he knows he told me we got money back but I would have told you guys if he did and he didn't as always he just can't admit he forgot to tell me.

We are now 5 months behind on the house and he seems to not care.

He gave me $10 this morning

He brought the Cat Walk tickets yesterday

He went out last night to watch the game

Nothing else

oh yeah I been texting with Jo and My Lady a little more everyday nothing big just light convo

I'm having a jewelry party this Friday and ask me if I'm ready?????????????HELL TO DA NAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!