Saturday

I was up early Felicia helped me make a news letter for the kick ball team and I left them on my desk so I went all the way to work to get them.

Lee woke me up in the morning so I could get all my stuff done before practice.

Tony was being really nice to me walking me to the door, telling me to call him when I get to work and to be careful since it was dark out. (smile)

Lee talked to me all the way to work (smile) then to Walmart I was looking for my cleats

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe this shyt I found out today I mean friends should be happy for each other uh? I mean ....aaaararrrggghhhhh I always have to hide my true feelings from people I've been doing it all my life......this Lee shyt is bothering some folks and I really don't get it.............we talk to much on the phone, I talk to much about him in MY blog ...............hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha I NEVER say anything about anyone else and their friends hahahhahahahahhaahaha

Yesterday

Tony called and asked me to pay the electric bill which was $360 now you guys know I didn't have it and it would not allow me to extend the date to the 20th I was like dayum so I used my credit card which means when I get paid I will be negative $360 plus $35 over draft and I have $508 in loans coming out my check so yeah BROKE again ............

I was on the phone with Lee when I decided to check my blog since I hadn't checked comments in a while and I had like 4 from a Kris and I was excited ........one of the comments made my head spin she was just expressing her feelings and every and any one can do just that but I was just like WOW! I had to tell Lee without mentioning names .....he was like ......"O.M.G you getting ripped all day today uh? I guess I be taking your time from your girls uh? I mean I be wanting your time too and we be rapping about some good topics na'mean"? I mean I don't know

Dianna my Golden Girl sent me a e-mail which had me 1. laughing 2. feeling like yeah don't fuck up my friendship with Lee cause if shoe was on the other foot ...yeah some females even stop hanging out when they think they got a sure thing...olololololol

I got a text from coach saying that we should cancel practice to meet at My Place for team pictures. I was supposed to go chill with Lee after practice since I hadn't seen him since Tuesday when we went out to eat. Well when I told him about the change in plans he was jive hurt thinking I was gonna spend my whole time up in My Place and not get to see him. I told him I would stop over before I went.

He asked me to pick up a bottle of Svedka to bring to his crib. I didn't tell him I had the hats and was wondering what his reaction would be.

I got home changed, spoke with the kids, petted Marlow, spoke to Tony and rolled the hell out.

The guy at the liquor store was sweating me hard (LOL) but not hard enough to give me my shyt for free (lol)

When I was like ..............right on Lee's street I called him "Hey buddy you have 5 seconds to get those bytches out your house".

him "What bytches"?

me "Yeah okay I'm out front now so they better not be coming out the front door cause I'm a have to clean house".

him "Man go head Toni ......you know aint know bytches in my shyt I told you I don't be bringing no females over my shyt all up in my business and why you don't warn me when you on the way give me time to prepare the house could be a mess I might not have any clothes on and then you be wanting me OUTSIDE when you pull up come on shorty work wit a brother".

me "Come on dude I'm outside waiting with my hands full". he comes out grinning for days (smile) "Hey baby I missed you".

me "Missed you too". we hug and kiss mmm mmm mmm (SMH) we go inside and he is bowling on the WII I ask him to get my Cranberry Juice so he can fix me a drink.......I play his game while he makes the drinks he is making faces because I am fucking up his game.

He puts it on 2 players and we bowl he beat me of course.

Temp called me to tell me my team was looking for me and how unprofessional I was not to be there so I told Lee I would be back by 10pm. He was acting all sad I was leaving I mean it looked genuine and made me want to stay with his ass but I went to the spot because he doesn't run this show (lol)

I get to the place .......now Lee made my drink good but strong and he made me drink it all before I left his place. I wanted his ass in the worse way but I wasn't even going that route.

My Place was jumping and I was hype I had a good time getting my flirt on you guys know how I do. Coach had already been texting me he invited me to Puerto Rico, the grand hyatt sports bar and I think he is a cool dude. man I must have flirted with half the bar but I had a bunch of numbers for people saying they were going to come to practice Wednesday..............I hope they show.

Teka was there for her co-workers B-Day I was surprised to see her. Temp and Angel were there they play for the Panthers (smile)

Tausha came and come to find out her and Champ are first cousins. The pic guy there was jive cute and he was trying to holla. Tausha said back in high school he was the MAN LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL that was funny he was about to take a pic of her and I when Tausha looks at him and says "Linx Land".

Him "don't be shouting out my government name". (lolololol) she was like "Toni he trying to holla at you girl he was the man in high school and everyone wanted him". (lololololololol)

It all boils down to I had a fun time (smile)

Tony called twice ........asked me to bring him home a six pack of Corana's and then called back to say never mind that man is sooooo confused.

Lee started blowing up my phone at 10pm I know I told him I was coming back around 10pm but dayum it was jive funny to me the calls were literally Tony10:02, Lee 10:03, Tony 10:10, Lee 10:12 back to back I was like dayum (smile) I didn't call either one nor did I take either call. I called Lee when I got out front of his house we sat on the couch, I took my shoes off and chatted for a while until he pulled me on his lap and we started kissing ............mmmm........I said "Want me to take my jeans off"?

him "yeah". he gets up and turns off the light and I straddle him with my cute sexy thongs on (lol) we kissing and everything is good I want his ass for sure I am like it's on so that bold bytch Jada says "Lee you got a condom"?

him "Yeah". he goes get one and covers me up with the throw blanket on the couch (I thought that was sweet) he comes back and I'm thinking yeah we about to get it in when BAM this nucca won't stay hard .............I am getting mad because we talk about this all the time and how he be telling me girls be turning him off with fucked up bodies and badussy is not just badussy to him he is picky and yada, yada, yada so now I'm like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME .....so I'm going on his ass now "What's wrong you think my body is fucked up".

him "No baby it's not you for real don't act like that it's the condom".

me "What the hell ever you not fucking me with out it so don't even try that one".

him "I'm not trying to but I'm telling you that's what is it's nothing to do with you at all I thought we discussed that already".

me "Just fuck it I'm gone I won't call you again don't worry about that". I (Jada) start putting on my jeans, shoes and coat and walk to the door he is looking all sad and shyt saying "Toni don't be like that I want you to stay the night don't leave like that". I'm to my van now and this nucca is in the middle of the fucking street saying this shyt and asking me to please call him. I am down the street when I call Rude Boy.......he doesn't answer so I go to McDonalds then head home Lee had sent me a text "Pls call me and let me kno u made it home safe". I hit him back via text "I'm home".

Man when I get home Tony is a wreck crying and shyt I was scared someone died I check all my kids then go to the room he starts in on some BS "Do you have someone else? I heard you talking about going to Jamaica and then why your phone locked? and your just giving up on us like that I tried to picture my life without you but I can't I want you regardless of your faults I want us to reconcile and work things out". I said I would think about that and he has to remember to stop staying out al night and communicate with me and stuff. I mean you guys I love him but have not been IN love with him in years you guys know being in love and loving someone is two different things and believe me this whole staying out late, I'm leaving you convo will come up again I'm used to this shyt and where some may look at it as I'm a cold bytch .....lol I've been with this man for 19 years .......I know him better then anyone believe that.

I was wondering why Lee wasn't calling me or texting me .................he should be pressed right??????? NOPE NOT HIM he didn't call or text .......so I wasn't calling him either.

He did send a text at around 4am something that said "I couldn't sleep keep thinking about you real talk".

This morning I sent him a text and he called me said he was sick to his stomach and was worried I wasn't gonna call him he said "I realized last night that I like you more then I think"............

We didn't talk that much on the phone today I kept getting off the phone so I could have more time to talk with Tiffany or Felicia if they wanted to talk to me since I spend so much time on the phone with Lee they can't get convo in with me. (LOLOlOLO)