Right now for me life sucks .......................

This weekend was just that..................a weekend.

Friday

I went to see Andre and we laid across his bed watching TV...........he wanted to have sex .........remember Ruby had just left and I didn't feel the need to explain this to him so I kindly told him to stop all that kissing and stuff nothing was going to happen....................he started making comment like ....I missed going out with my boys to spend time with you and you not giving me none. Then he said I'm lying here with you not getting any and I have to be up early in the morning for work...............So I left.

I haven't heard anything from him and I did send him a text "I'm home". "Thinking about you". and then Sunday when I was by his house on my way to bowling I called and left him a vm and he has not called back so F IT that season is over..............................over got to work this morning and got the e-mail he wrote while he was at work Sunday the whole your a married woman and karma is a mother and have a nice life....................that was it in a nut shell (smile)

Friday Ant got home around 3am (rolling eyes)

Saturday

I was in a depressed state I was in the bed all dayum day didn't even shower...........I did Take Mo to her GS field trip at Home Depot ....the kids work shop she built a trinket box and then they went to Home Depot. I had the Love Jones CD and I watched it ....matter a fact I drowned myself in love stories ..........Legend of the falls, Urban Cowboy, Bridges to Madison County, Love Jones, Love and basketball, and the Notebook......... I took Mo over my sisters to spend the night with her cousins ..........then it was back inside to watch movies.

When he got home around 11pm he kissed my forehead and was out the door.................he came home around 4 something.

Sunday I didn't even com in to work............I watched the Dark knight with Tony and then Kris sent me a text about meeting her at the bowling alley at 1 to be her 3rd wheel with this guy she has been kicking it with ..........................bowling was fun and then we went to the Friday's in Greenbelt ..............I saw this lady named Kim I know with her daughter ....then I saw India .....Dinner was good as was the conversation.................What I have learned this week end is to .........just DO ............just that ...............DO! what I feel, what I want, how I want..................DO!

James called me while I dinner looking for Tony who was to pick him up at 5pm...............I called Tony and he acted like I was bothering him but said he would go get him....................on my way home I sent Rude a text and he hit me back real quick he said he missed me and I told him the same I stopped past to see him on my way to pick up Mo from Nickee's house since it is on the way...............Rude was home I don't know why I think a chick lives with him it's just so nice. I thought we were going to go to the basement to watch TV but we sat in the kitchen talking while he was cooking then we went in his room to play UNO ......................yes UNO I turned my phone off hoping that would will Andre to call me but no such luck.......I can tell Rude was really happy to see me and after complaining about not having any money for lunch he gave me $20 (lol)

when I got Mo and before I got home I called Tony to see if he got James, brought the toilet paper and he was like "Yeah I got the toilet paper, I went back up to the rec but James was gone". I guess so you go up there a whole hour later. but I said "Did you get something to eat for dinner"?

him "I gave them money to order carry out".

me "Is the Toilet paper at home"?

him "No".

me "Well then I still have to go to the store uh"? Mo and I went in Shoppers and walked right back out the line was off the flipping meter.....went to Giant and was in and out.

I went home started washing the clothes and listened to some music..................good ole love songs Tony came home around 3am .........smelling like cigarettes (rolling eyes)

I wonder ........I wonder if I could pick up and relocate???? I did it before but with Tony ....this time I want to leave the kids behind with him and just ................................go remove the shackles of fear from my ankles and ............move................walk take those steps toward MY LIFE .............MY LIFE (lol) that sounds funny because it doesn't feel like my life it feels like Tony and the kids life (lol)

I have to get a way I'm suffocating...........my heart is smothering ................I think .....I know I'm dying ...........from a broken heart!